Freedom Forever!

I realized I'm a foreigner in a strange land...

If you find something good?
You have seen where you are living haven't you?

I’ll try to start every blog with a quote from my brother. Don’t worry Steve, I have found a new place to live. I’ll miss the ghost whores though. It gave me someone to blame when things went missing – keys, floss, my big toe. Silly ghost whores, floss is for mortals.

I resigned myself to a week of solitude but that changed on Monday night when Eric from Rhode Island arrived. My two nights alone in the Ghostitute Hotel do make me a lot more sympathetic to Jack’s plight in the Shining. While I don’t agree with the choices he made, I can certainly understand where Jack was coming from.

Like the survivors from a nuclear fallout, others began to surface. There’s a student from Kansas via NYC – she’s got great stories of homemade ice cream on the farm and horrendous ones too – like the time she got locked in the coop with some nasty roosters. Cockadoodle deadly. There are also students from Louisville Kentucky, Boston, Chicago, Calgary and Norway. They’re all really nice and will even let you mock their president. Just don’t let them see you put mayonnaise on your fries. You’re safer taking a carcass out of a bear’s mouth.

I don’t think I’ve ever spent this long in the USA before and it’s a great opportunity to really embrace the culture. Individualism, patriotism, and love for God will now be expressed in my “Freedom Forever” personalized cheques or “checks” as they spell it in the only place worth living in the entire universe. Imagine a soaring eagle, its wings brushing past the stars and stripes banner. Meanwhile, Ms Liberty stands proudly in the corner, proud. What’s even better is I get to have my own personal saying on my personal checks that let me supersize my individuality. There are a lot of diverse sayings to choose from such as “God make this country free and strong”. “God give us the strength to balance this check book”. “God, God, God, God, God”, “Jesus is footing the bill”. “I place my overdraft in the hands of the Lord”. “Gun control means using both hands”. It was hard to choose but you’ll soon find out as all who read my blog will be sent a check in the mail.

Besides freedom, justice, Jesus and milk shakes - I don’t think it will be long before I start saying “y’all”. I give myself until Thanksgiving. And by Thanksgiving I mean November Thanksgiving. Not some pinko commie pagan October thanksgiving that comes with a free physical exam and a bottle of discount prescription meds. October thanksgiving is dead to me. DEAD. But y’all aren’t. And by “y’all”, I mean “all y’all”. Not just “y’all” over there but “all y’all” over there too.

Oh yeah, Arcata turns out to be the place where 1967 got to retire. I’ve seen five people without shoes in seven days. The farmer’s market has a reggae concert in the middle of it. I’m also getting nervous about school. Once I got my Freedom Forever checks, I had to wonder how it could get any better than this.